When I started this blog, I figured I’d get a lot of hate mail. It turns out, the opposite happened. Oh sure, I’ve gotten a few nastygrams, but a lot fewer than I was expecting. Meanwhile, I’ve received many messages of support. Some of them have been from totally unexpected people. Here is a message I received (it has been slightly edited to protect the privacy of the mother who sent it) from a woman who I never knew felt this way:
“I just wanted to thank you for the blog. I have read it in its entirety and it truly struck me as honest and humbling. As a mom who chose hospital birth three times with drugs 2 times I always felt inferior when discussing my births with you. Always wondering if I could do it again would I choose a home birth or the hospital again. Always wondering if getting pain meds was the easy way out. Reading all of the research and reading your story helped reassure me that I am no less of a woman because I chose a hospital birth and pain meds.”
I am so happy to know that sharing my story has helped this woman make peace with her decisions. I had no idea that she ever felt inferior in this regard. I feel bad that things I said may have made any woman feel inferior about choosing a hospital or choosing pain meds!
Mothers who chose hospital birth: you are NOT inferior in any way! You made a smart, safe choice for yourself and your baby. No matter why you chose it, it was a good choice.
Mothers who chose pain meds: you made a decision that millions of women throughout time wish they could have made. It was a smart choice. It wasn’t the “easy” way out: it was a completely appropriate and safe choice, and you should have zero shame!
Here is another note I received that relays a similar sentiment. As in the other, it has been slightly edited to protect the mother’s privacy:
“Thank you for your transparency! I used to wish I could have a home birth. I felt that if there was a guarantee that nothing would go wrong, home would definitely be better. But since things can go wrong, I wanted the medical help VERY close by. I wondered if I was a bit of a wimp. Don’t wonder anymore! Thanks!”
You were NOT a wimp. You made a smart decision.
It is gratifying to know I am helping women feel better about their births. It’s all I ever really wanted.
Happy Mother’s Day!!